Well, this is what one of my German friends at TATA Motors said about America’s attitude towards systems at work – “The Americans devise systems which try to enable every stupid person on the road to do the job at hand”. I thought “Ah, these Germans, always trying to prove they are superior!” Well, days passed and I eventually completed my prison time at TATA and arrived in the land of opportunity (or the lack of it nowadays!).
Then one day, I saw a Top Gear video, a famous series aired by the BBC and hosted by a British egoist called Jeremy Clarkson. Jeremy is judging a car by the name Cadillac CTS. It’s a full size saloon manufactured by GM that costs a ton of money, has sharp edgy looks from which ever angle you look at it and was clearly a good looking car. But then, there is something that Jeremy points the viewer’s attention to. The car makes a different kind of beep every time
1. the door is open
2. the door is closed and the key is not inserted
3. the key is inserted and the engine is not switched on
In fact, its got a myriad range of beeps to alert the driver of every little thing he does. For once, my hatred of the sense of superiority that the British show totally disappeared, and I thought, the Americans must be truly out of their minds to design their cars like that.
I pondered over it for a while and the story stopped over there until I found a job as a programmer. The program I was writing runs on a mobile device which is like a bar code scanner, only difference being, it scans stuff using a different technology and is wireless as well. This time, I wasn’t busting my ass like I did at Dining Services. I was rather working from home, choosing when I want to work and when I want to watch a movie; sometimes mixing both if the task at hand is not too complicated. I worked hard for several weeks and the system started working pretty well. So, one day, I and my colleague had to wake up at 5.30(!!!) in the morning and go to the company which actually pays for my job. The company’s pickup truck came and the driver opened the door and there it was! The beep! It was an all American GMC truck and the moment the sound hit my ear, I could only think of what Jeremy showed in the Top Gear episode. The next day, another employee of the company came to pick us up in a Chevy truck and when his door opened, there was the all American beep once again!
So, I laughed within myself about all of this and we went to the company, showed the people over there how to work with the device. They made faces that didn’t really convey much information and I asked them
“So, what do you think?”
The head of the company said, “It’s all fine, but……can we have a continuous beep when the device scans the items?”
The top gear episode, the way Jeremy mocks about the beeps that everything Americans use started flashing in my mind. I returned back to reality and I said, “Well, we are going to design it exactly the way you want it to be”. I pasted a pleasing smile on my face and prided on the fact that I am finally beginning to learn the nuances of customer service. So, we went back, made the changes to the program and got back to the company next day and showed the device to them. The thing made the beep sound when it was scanning and all of my American audience was ecstatic. Feeling on top of the world for pleasing my customer, I asked them once again,
“So, what do you think?” (Charlie, this is Houston. We are ready to take off)
And with a small pause (….3….), they said
“Well, that’s a good job Anu (….2….). You have a small head (…1…), but you got a big brain inside your head! (Lift off!!!!)
But…..can we have a sound when the device finishes reading all the items?”(Crash!!!!)
And so, I had the Top Gear episode flashing in my brain once more. I grew a little cautious about my customer handling skills because these guys were slowly turning into people who eat, drink and sleep beeps, but I held my nerves tight with all my Indian resilience. Riding the wave of vanity, I accepted my fate and agreed to their request.
I went back to my office, added the sound and landed at the company the next morning. This time they were extremely elated, showered some praise on me and my friend. We felt good too, having showed how smart we Indians were. So, things went smooth and we took the device and connected it to the computer and performed what is called a sync operation to transfer files from the device. The computer screen displays everything that is happening between the device and the computer and I breathed a sigh of relief that the job at hand is over. The operation was about to finish when the head honcho said “Hey Anu, can we have a beep when the device is syncing with the computer?” At that point, I was no longer in doubt about what my German friend had said in the beginning itself. So, it’s true you know! The Americans love beeps and want to hear it no matter how silly the reason might be. They wanna be people who keep their ears open rather than the ones like us, who would keep their eyes open!
